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In one of her former lives, Mary Tylaska was an A-list concubine of Julius Caesar. Thousands of years have since passed, but her penchant for short, balding men with imperialistic tendencies remains to this day. Adopting the moniker "Berlin Bertha," Mary began her illustrious radio career in 1942, broadcasting Allied propaganda into enemy territory on an all-polka station. In the years following the war she traveled the globe, eventually winding up at heritage Rock station KLBJ-FM in Austin, Texas. After joining the Witness Protection Program, Mary migrated north to Dallas and soon began taking up valuable space at Country kicker KYNG-FM. She counts among her many hobbies housecat taxidermy and toenail clipping sculpture. Mary's future plans include world domination, and having her remains cremated and shot into space.
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